16th Dec. 2012.. 6.30 pm..
" This distance will kill me.. Please leave your work and come back to me.. " I said him, We were chatting on YM.. I was missing him alot.. He is out of country fr his business trip.
.. " I want to .. But I Cant .. I have to complete my work here..Please try to understand me.. " He replied..
" Fine.. If you cant come here den M leaving this city.. I cant stay here everyday missing you.. " I was damm frustrated.
" No sweetheart.. I cant allow you for that.. You are not going anywhere.. You gt dat..? " He said.
" Fine I will be here and screwing up my life.. And you better watch that.. " I was out of my mind..
.. I was damm frustrated.. I was not able to meet him.. Insecurities, Anger was high now.. All I wanted him to be here anyhow.. But I knew its not gonna happen.. My mind was not working at all.. All I wanted to make him feel that I am gonna screw my life If he doesnt come here.. I was out wid friends till late night.. I knew dis would bother him a lot.. And It did too.. He asked me many times to go back home.. He tried everything he could.. But I was damm angry.. I didnt listened to him.. I was back home late night.. He was awake.. Waiting for me.. Damm worried.. I kept fighting with him whole night.. I was cursing him for going der.. I was blaming him for making me cry.. And all night he was trying to make me believe that he also need me As much as I needed him.. But I was just not listening to him..
.. He didnt slept that night.. Although he had presentation next day in office, he was with me all the time.. I was still nt realizing my mistake.. Dat was the worst night ever.. We didnt fought this much ever..
I told him, " Fine if you dont want to come here.. You better forget me.. I cant keep waiting for you every single day.."
He was crying now (I guess).. He tried his best to make me convince, " Babu Please dont say that.. All I have is your love and support here.. Wat I will do without you.. " I was not ready to listen anything..
.. I replied, " No I dont mean anything to you.. All you have is your family and office.. I am no where.. "
.."Why are you saying so sweetheart.. I am alive just because of you.. You have given me my life back.. My only reason of smile is you.. " He typed with tears in his eyes..
.." These are just words.. And I know that now.. " I was hurting him a lot.. ( That was not JUST WORDS... I knew dat.. But I was so angry.. I didnt realized wat I am saying.. )
I was offline.. I switched off my cell.. I didnt wanted him to reach to me by anyway.. It was early morning.. I slept in anger.. But he didnt.. How could he.. After two hours I waked up I took my cell .. I was reading our chats again...
.. Shittt Man... How could I do this to him... Wat rubbish I told him.. Yes I realized my mistake... I had screwed up everything.. I knew he do love me a lot.. And he care for me more than anything.. Still I fought with him and dat too from last night..
.. I messaged him.. " If you are awake, Please come online.. I need to talk with you.. " I was praying dat he should be awake..
.. And he was der.. " Say Sweetheart.. Wat happened..?? " My eyes filled with tears... After all drama.. He was still so nice to me.. I was guilty.. Damm guilty.. I was crying now..
.. " I dnt have words to say you Sorry.. I am such a dumb.. I told so many things even after knowing the truth.." I said with heavy heart..
.. " Ssshhhhh... You dont have to be sorry sweetheart.. I understand you completely.. " He replied.. His reply made me more guilty..
.. " No you please punish me for watever I did.. " I told him
" How can I punish myself by giving you punishment.. I am selfish sweetheart.. Dont you know that..? " He tried to make me smile..
.. Damm.. Wat a stupid person I am.. I made him cry who always tried to make me smile..
.. " You know.. My love for you will not change ever.. Even if you hurt me 100 times..! I love you more now.. " He said with a smile..
.. I smiled back.. I am lucky.. Lucky to have him in my life.. But did I really value him..?? His love..? Did I took him for granted..?? I failed to understand him.. To give him support when I needed him the most..
..People dont have replacement like other things.. Dont hurt them who loves you a lot.. Because Dey will not hurt you back but they may leave you.. And wat you will have is only regrets with You.. I am guilty for wat I did but it wont heal his pain.. I know he is still wid me because he loves me ... So think twice before you speak anything...
.." I am sorry sweetheart.. I hope you wont leave me for this stupidity..Because I cant evn imagine my life without you... ;( ;( " I messaged him..
.. Khushi ♥
" This distance will kill me.. Please leave your work and come back to me.. " I said him, We were chatting on YM.. I was missing him alot.. He is out of country fr his business trip.
.. " I want to .. But I Cant .. I have to complete my work here..Please try to understand me.. " He replied..
" Fine.. If you cant come here den M leaving this city.. I cant stay here everyday missing you.. " I was damm frustrated.
" No sweetheart.. I cant allow you for that.. You are not going anywhere.. You gt dat..? " He said.
" Fine I will be here and screwing up my life.. And you better watch that.. " I was out of my mind..
.. I was damm frustrated.. I was not able to meet him.. Insecurities, Anger was high now.. All I wanted him to be here anyhow.. But I knew its not gonna happen.. My mind was not working at all.. All I wanted to make him feel that I am gonna screw my life If he doesnt come here.. I was out wid friends till late night.. I knew dis would bother him a lot.. And It did too.. He asked me many times to go back home.. He tried everything he could.. But I was damm angry.. I didnt listened to him.. I was back home late night.. He was awake.. Waiting for me.. Damm worried.. I kept fighting with him whole night.. I was cursing him for going der.. I was blaming him for making me cry.. And all night he was trying to make me believe that he also need me As much as I needed him.. But I was just not listening to him..
.. He didnt slept that night.. Although he had presentation next day in office, he was with me all the time.. I was still nt realizing my mistake.. Dat was the worst night ever.. We didnt fought this much ever..
I told him, " Fine if you dont want to come here.. You better forget me.. I cant keep waiting for you every single day.."
He was crying now (I guess).. He tried his best to make me convince, " Babu Please dont say that.. All I have is your love and support here.. Wat I will do without you.. " I was not ready to listen anything..
.. I replied, " No I dont mean anything to you.. All you have is your family and office.. I am no where.. "
.."Why are you saying so sweetheart.. I am alive just because of you.. You have given me my life back.. My only reason of smile is you.. " He typed with tears in his eyes..
.." These are just words.. And I know that now.. " I was hurting him a lot.. ( That was not JUST WORDS... I knew dat.. But I was so angry.. I didnt realized wat I am saying.. )
I was offline.. I switched off my cell.. I didnt wanted him to reach to me by anyway.. It was early morning.. I slept in anger.. But he didnt.. How could he.. After two hours I waked up I took my cell .. I was reading our chats again...
.. Shittt Man... How could I do this to him... Wat rubbish I told him.. Yes I realized my mistake... I had screwed up everything.. I knew he do love me a lot.. And he care for me more than anything.. Still I fought with him and dat too from last night..
.. I messaged him.. " If you are awake, Please come online.. I need to talk with you.. " I was praying dat he should be awake..
.. And he was der.. " Say Sweetheart.. Wat happened..?? " My eyes filled with tears... After all drama.. He was still so nice to me.. I was guilty.. Damm guilty.. I was crying now..
.. " I dnt have words to say you Sorry.. I am such a dumb.. I told so many things even after knowing the truth.." I said with heavy heart..
.. " Ssshhhhh... You dont have to be sorry sweetheart.. I understand you completely.. " He replied.. His reply made me more guilty..
.. " No you please punish me for watever I did.. " I told him
" How can I punish myself by giving you punishment.. I am selfish sweetheart.. Dont you know that..? " He tried to make me smile..
.. Damm.. Wat a stupid person I am.. I made him cry who always tried to make me smile..
.. " You know.. My love for you will not change ever.. Even if you hurt me 100 times..! I love you more now.. " He said with a smile..
.. I smiled back.. I am lucky.. Lucky to have him in my life.. But did I really value him..?? His love..? Did I took him for granted..?? I failed to understand him.. To give him support when I needed him the most..
..People dont have replacement like other things.. Dont hurt them who loves you a lot.. Because Dey will not hurt you back but they may leave you.. And wat you will have is only regrets with You.. I am guilty for wat I did but it wont heal his pain.. I know he is still wid me because he loves me ... So think twice before you speak anything...
.." I am sorry sweetheart.. I hope you wont leave me for this stupidity..Because I cant evn imagine my life without you... ;( ;( " I messaged him..
.. Khushi ♥
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