Gmail chat:
'Hey,I broke you with my boyfriend' I wrote
' You were committed? with whom..I neva knew' he wrote
'You neva knew coz I neva said..n damn it first time its hurting me..'
'Its hurting you,whu was that wid whom you were committed?' He wrote
'Vansh' I typed
'Oh that jerk'
'C'mon dun call him a jerk..n stupo I'm feeling low and you are suppose to make me feel gud'
I calmly typed this.
'Chatterbox agar me udhar hota na..I wud have have made you wash your face n wud have hugged you tightly'
'Yeah, I need a hug desperately yaar..u dun know how I'm feeling..I only dumped him and its just like my another break up but still I'm feeling bad..not done'
I wrote
'Meet me..I'm coming near spencer'.
I didn't get time to tell him anything. And he appeared 'OFFLINE'
I was not in a mood to get ready. I pulled my shorts up. Tied my hair.
Left my house.I saw him coming.
'So?you better now?' He asked
'Hmm..don't know' I answered looking down.
We didn't speak for 5 mins and continued walking.
Suddenly he came infront of me.pulled me close.held my face in his palm. And said
C'mon cherry you don't look gud like this. You are a pretty girl.he is a loser. Why are you affecting youself coz of him? Why? Why don't you get the thing that there are guys around who actually die to get you.
He was staring right into my eyes.I could hardly say anything. I was just mumbling.
'Karan,who dies for me?
'Umm..umm..'He stammered.
'I know I'm not those perfect girlfriend types. I suck as a girlfriend. I'm not dat girl friend material yaar' I freed myself from this grip and litterly shouted on him.
'Tell me..will you ever fall in a love wid a girl like me. Just having a pretty face doesnt work evrytime. I know I'm pretty but I want a guy who can make me feel beautiful' I continued saying.
He didn't speak a word. He was just staring at me. Staring quite hard. There was something different in his stare. It wasn't the usual one.his eyes were twinkling.
'Will you please calm down?' He pleaded.
I regained my sense, and looked by my side and saw a lady staring at me.
'Am I looking so gud that you need to stare at me' I sternly questioned that lady.
She passed an irritating look.
And I gave her a' I don't give a damn look'( yeah, I'm good in it..when I'm pissed off.you better be sweet to me)
Dats cherry's rule.
Cherry look at me, you know if I like you also I can't get you.
As soon as he said this words,vansh suddenly got flushed out from my mind.
It was a strange feeling,yeah, it was. Its was something I never felt.it was magical. It was something unexpected.
Tringg..tring..tring..
'Cherry your mobile is buzzing'
Haan..wat...phone..whose..shit
' Yeah,mom,I'm with karan..I'll be back home by 8'
I didn't evn give mom a chance to speak.I rushed through wateva I had say.
'Beta its okay..actually vansh is here waiting for you so come back home..' Mom said from the other end
Haan? Wat? Vansh? For what? He is there?he came to meet me I was stammering
'Yeah now come and even call karan' mom didn't give me time to speak and she hung up
'Vansh is at my place he wants to meet me..'I said
'So???'
There was big question mark on karan's face.
Mom called you,so you are coming wid me..I was about to hold his hand wen he suddenly said 'NO'
I was shocked.coz never ever he said no to me.
'Wat no???' I questioned him directly.
You will be with your prince charming and what do you expect me to do? Have nuts.
His temper was going up.I could see that in his eyes.
'I don't know anuthing you are coming.I litterly dragged him. Obviously it wasn't easy. His strength is superior to me.
I called for a rickshaw. We both sat n left for our house.
15mins later,
We reached home. I saw vansh sitting on our couch.he was looking different. His face was pale. He didn't look the same.
Suddenly his eyes twinkled as soon as he saw me.
Karan and me took our place. Mom left for making some snacks.
We 3 were left out.
'Hey can v tok' vansh said
' There is nothing to talk about vansh.its over.we broke up'
I said looking straight into his eyes.
Baby why don't you understand I need you..I seriously need you..he grabbed my hand.
Karan got his eyes fixed on me. Some struck him wrong.
'Vansh, don't behave like a kid. Grow up.you flirted with that chick you got caught and I dumpd you its as simple as that. Den y so much of drama? I said irritatedly
' its not drama baby.'
Don't you dare call me baby now' I instantly reply.
From the corner of my eyes I saw karan.he was feeling uncomfortable. He wasn't liking wat was going on. He prented as if he dsnt care. But what I mean to him nobody knows that better than me. It was hurting him.
He was now looking down. He couldn't see me with anyone else.
I continued watching karan.I was feeling drawn towards him. No I wasn't in love. Its just that I can't see him like this. Afterall we promised each other that we'll be each other's guide forever. He will share wateva happens with him and I'll share whateva happens wid me.
But I broke this. I kept it as a secret from him that I was committed?
What made me take that step?
What can be the reason?
Yeah,at one point of time It did stuck my brain that whateva I'm
Doing is wrong,
was I afraid to lose him?
And by the way hold on!
Why am I thinkng like this now also? Why should I lose him? Afterall we are truefriends.
No,love can't come between us. I was determined.It spoiles every relationship.and I wasn't that strong to lose this relationship.
I can screw up relationships easily,I know. But I knew this also if I screw this up then I need pay for it through out my life.
I didn't even realise wen vansh freed my hand. And he touched me I didn't evn feel the same way I used to. It wasn't the same any more.
Vansh's touch didn't make a difference to me.no magical feelings?
Karan's eyes got moist. He could have an eye contact with me. His fingers were turned into a fist now.
Some wrong was going on.something which is terribly wrong.
Vansh was still talking to me. But his words just above my head.it wasn't going inside. All I was engrossed in was 'KARAN'
Never ever in my life I have seen his eyes moist.
Its hurting me(it shouldn't,c'mon a guy with whom I fight all day long cannot make me feel for him so much)
Vansh,can you give me some time? My mind is really messed up. I don't know what I'm upto. I don't know what I want. I don't know if you are still important to me or not. I don't know anything.
I literaly pleaded him.
I guess he understood my situation.
Yeah, at times I'm too difficult to handel.
He left two of us alone and walked out.
Now, I was feeling sorry for vansh?
Did I say anything wrong? Did I over reacted? Have I done something which I shouldn't have?
What's wrong with me?
What's going on?
What am I upto?
God! Help me..
I really wanted to shout my heart out.my feeings were pinching me down my skin.
And trust me I wasn't liking what was going on.
My mind was bursting out of thoughts.
My heart was full of question
I sat down on the couch,karan was by my side.thousands of thought were running across my mind.
My heart was jammed with feelings.
I put my hand across has karan's shoulder. He didn't respond.
'Won't you talk to me?' I asked
He remained quite.
'Really you won't tok to me?' I asked again.
Still he remained quite.now it was me who was feeling uneasy.
'Sacchi..tu baat nehi karega?'
I started weeping now.
'He gave a look to me and again started looking down.
I kneeled down infront of him. Took his palm in mine and made him look at me.
He tried hard not to look at me but this time I was stubborn.I didn't allow him to look at anything other than me.
'If you don't talk to me then I'm not gonna move from here' I tried to be straight forward but as I was weeping it was sounding stupid.
'He was still quite.
I pulled his cheek, what I love to do and he finally responded.
'Don't cry,I don't like when you drop tears ' he sounded extremly cute.
As he said this he pulled me closer to him and hugged me. This time I completely broke down.I was crying .
Something which was pinching me from last few hours came out finally.
No this wasn't our first hug,but it was something different.
May be because I needed this hug at this moment or may I needed this hug from this specific guy only (nobody else).
We finally got apart.
There were cute moments of silence. He made me sit beside him again.
'Can I confess something' he said
'Yup..go ahead' I didn't speak much.
'You seriously look the cutest when you cry'
The moment he said this I started blushing.
I found a sudden closeness between us.
Did he find the same? Or it was me who was feeling like this? Why does vansh always get flush out wen I spend some moments with karan?
The last hug was special for me but for him?
Hid he find the silence cute as I found?
I was full of questions. But I couldn't allow myself to ask him all this questions.
May be I was afraid of the answers.
Or,
May be I was afraid of rejection.
Yeah,negetive thoughts are the main thing which covers my mind.
It was late and it was time for karan to leave.
We two left the house in unison.it was cold outside. Perfect cuddling weather.as we were walking he held my fingers.I blushed.
I too held his finger.
He looked at me and I passed a smile.finaly we came near spencer and it was his time to go.
'I'm not feeling like to let you go'
He said
'You are mad..you know you shud maintain distance from me' I winked
Why? He was confused
'You will fall for me if you come too close'I mocked
'I don't mind falling in love with you'
C'mon now this is something I never expected from him.
Okay! Enuf of jokes! I tried to change the topic.
'Friday is anne's birthday and you are coming'
'this is the way you invite' he asked
'Listn I dun knw how to invite..I'm tlng you to come and you can't say me no..got it? Ab chup chap aa jana..I'm going now..bye..
I emphasized on the last words,
'I'll see' with a blank expressn on his face
'No seeing..you come or I won't tok' I threated him
I love doing it actually :p
'Okay my cherry my baby'
Baby..omg! C'om hold on..no way..no baby please..chepo lagta hain..n kyun baby?I told u na to maintain distance' I said my point
Don't act in such a way as if you don't know what's going on between us'
What? What's going on? I pretented as if I dun knw nethng.
'Leave..you better go home now'
'Yeah..I'm leaving..bye'
'R'nt you forgetting something?? He asked
'No I'm not..why? What happened?
(Actually I knew what he was toking about but I ignored it)
R'nt we suppose to hug??
We used to hug earlier olso while sayng bye. But what happened now? Why I need to think before hugging him?
'Oh..yup..'
I hugged him..a calm feeling prevailed...it was quite a tight hug.
I didn't look at him ne more..
Bye' he said
I said him bye and rushed from the place.
My mobile buzzed
'It was certainly not a good site to see you with that jerk,but still the walk with you was awsome.
Love you( as a friend)'
He texted
Now those last three words hitted me.
As a friend? What? Did I see it right?I checked the message again.
Yup he wrote that only.
Its friendship or may be I was thinking something more than that?
I was wrong?
I can't fall for him. He fall for me. It was clear between us. Then why am I feeling bad by those words?
He didn't feel bad while texting?
What's going on?
The clock striked 2:00.
I couldn't sleep. Was on my bed just turning from left to right.I was confused. I don't know what to do next. I was disturbed may be coz of vansh's last word or karan's last message. I was deep in my thoughts when My mobile buzzed.
I expected a text from karan.
No it wasn't him it was vansh.
'Princess you are still on right? Can't sleep? Confused between me and karan r8?'
I read the message.
My mind went blank in a second. I thought to ignore the text but couldn't,afterall he spoke up the truth.
'Hmm..r8..something I disturbing me..I can't sleep..I'm so damn confused..' I wrote
'Don't be so confused..it doesnt suits you. You don't look good in that expression' he texted back.
'Here I'm in a dilemma and you are talking about how I look?
'Care to come near your window' he wrote
Naaay..not in a mood..
(Actually vansh stays opposite to my flat. So we can ddirectly see each other from our window'
'You don't wanna come just because you. Think you are looking like a mess right??
'No its not that..ruko..I'm coming'
He was near his window and I was near mine. He called up.
'You know why I called u here near the window? He said
I was blank I didn't have any idea I asked 'why?'
'Coz I wanted to see you in your shorts,loose t-shirt and messy hair one last time at night before you get committed to somebody'
Somebody?whom are you talking about? I'm not getting committed to anybody?I'm going.
No..no..no don't move from that place..baby to be truthfull you also know you love karan,my part is over. And you don't wanna accept the fact that you love karan juz coz you are too damn egoistic.
I kept quite.
He continued' nobody can reject you cherry not even karan so why don't juz take a chance and tell it to him.you must be thinkng that I will feel bad. Cherry I swear I won't. I loved you.I love you,I'll love you foreva. You are the best part of my life. But I never valued you when you were with me and I regret that.
'But It hurted me' my voice started chocking
'I know it did that's why I want to see you happy now. You know u fell for this guy long back but you couldn't understand and you didn't want to cheat me.
'But how come you are so sure that even he loves me' it was me who was speaking now.
' I'm a guy I can understand what's going on in a guys mind, I can bet that he didn't like it wen I held your hand infront of him. He felt jealous wen I said I love you. He was feeling low when I pulled you close'
I was hardly able to answer. I looked up and saw he was still looking at me.
'So what am I suppose to do now' I turned for his opinion.
'Propose him if he dsnt' his voice changed.
' will you be happy if I do this' as I asked him this on the phone and he turned his back towards me.
He didn't respond.
'Look at me..you okay' he still didn't respond but he didn't evn move from there or hung up.
We didn't speak for minutes. Finally he turned.
Yeah he was cryng, for the first time in 2 years I saw him cryng.
I was feeling guilty. I didn't mean to hurt him but I actually hurted him.
'Dun cry' I whispered
'Hmm..I need to hung up now and yeah Go for him cherry'
I didn't respond.he waited for my response.I still didn't say anything.
'Will you please look up and give me your dimple smile' he asked
'I'm suppose to say this jerk' I smiled even he did.
'Love you' he said
'I know'
We hung up.
So even from vansh I got a green signal. But again the same question arises du karan feels the same for me?
Last night was kinda dramatic for me.
After talking to vansh I felt bit relived and my brain nerves could finally relax.
12:00pm
I was still on my bed couldn't wake up actually no wasn't feeling like to pull my body up.
I searched for my mobile with my eyes closed,finally got hold of that.
I typed the password with my eyes half opened.
16 miss calls,10 messages all from karan.
For the first time after my breakup I wished to see a text from vansh but there was none.
I was about to check my inbox when my mobile buzzed. Yeah, as expected it was karan calling.
'Where the hell are you' his furious tone
'Jerk talk softly,I'm still on my bed sleeping' I said in my sleepy voice.
'Why do you sleep so much man' he was getting irritated
'Uuhh...you are suppose to wish me good morning instead of shouting' I continued in my sleepy laid back tone.
'I was too damn worried. You didn't reply since last night,tension hota hain yaar' his volume was going low
'I understand,now dat u woke me up only lemme get fresh then texting you okay?' I was back to normalcy.
Wakee up cherryyyyyyyyy....
It was my mom. My alarm clock and trust me I hate the tone atleast in the morning.
Yeah,yeah I'm up. I checked out myself. Still messy like last night.
Don't know why when I use this word 'MESSY' somewhere or the other vansh's memories hit my brains. I tried to dismiss my thoughts.
While I was brushing my teeth I went downstairs,and guess what?
It was him. It was Vansh sitting on my favorite couch.
'So madam you are on good afternoon' finally somebody wished me
'Its morning moron..not afternoon' I said still hell lots of paste inside my mouth
'girl can't you see its 12:20 now' he said
It was strange for me to see him in normalcy, last night he was such a different person.
'Listen I woke up now means its morning for me and you can't
Say Anything wase sone diya kaha tune mujhe raat ko' I winked
'Okay bab..' He was about to utter the word baby but he didn't. I tried not to continue the same topic with awkward silence so again went upstairs.
I tried to get fresh as soon as possible I didn't want him to wait for me. I felt a sudden urge to see him,due to some unknwn reasons.
I was brushing my hair when he entered the room.
'I love your hair' he smiled and sat beside me.
you know you told this a million times before. I said
'I know but I just want to make sure that you think I really mean it'
'You don't have to prove it, I know you meant it evertime you said this'
He didn't reply. Silence prevailed. This is the thing which I hate the most.c'mon speak up I can't take all this silent treatments.
'So what are you wearing for anne's b'day' he changed the topic and he is good in it.
'Shitt..I don't have anything to wear..' I cried suddenly I was back to reality and getting a dress for the party is my main priority now.
'Chill..you look good in whatever you Wear so it doesn't matter. You got thousands of dress choose one' he said calmly
'Noo..you don't understand' I was sad
'I really don't ?' He asked
'Haan? What?' I couldn't relate what he was talking about.
'No I didn't mean dat' I was falling short of words
'Ssh..stay quite..lagta hain yaar tera voice kaan mein' he mocked me
'Hell..get lost..I'm not gonna talk to you' I turned my back towards him.
He didn't reply. Suddenly there was a silence.I expected him to tell sorry but he didn't. I felt odd. I turned back I saw nobody. He wasn't there. I was like dazzed. He was gone.
I recapitulated what I said. There was nothing offensive. He is used to this. He knows how I talk but what happened suddenly??
My mind got jammed with thoughts.
I was lost somwhere.
'cherry..come here' it was vansh
'I rushed from my place' I wanted to know eagerly what was happening,he was panting and there was box in his hand.
You okay? With a concerned look on my face
'Yeah..open this' he forwarded me the box.
First you have some water I passed him the bottel' I didn't smile.
'First you open it' he ordered
'First you have water' I said still concerned about him
'No' he said
'Vansh' I couldn't complete calling his name he said 'okay baba having'
He gulped down the water. Now I was satisfied.
I was feeling strange that 15 mins back didn't have a dress for the party was my priority my tension but suddenly couldn't find vansh by side stirred my nerves.
'Happy' he asked
'Yeah' I replied with a blank expression
'Now will you care to open the box' he pleaded
'Yeah,okay' I started taking out the wrapper.
'Omg!' I couldn't react anything better than this. I was shocked into speech.
It was the same black dress from forever new which I wanted to buy last week
I was super happy.
'This is for me' I asked showing my 32 teeths with a bid smile
'No my future gf' he winked
'Shuttt up' instantly replied
This is so beautiful,thank you soo much. I kept the dress aside and hugged him. He hugged me back.
'you suddenly disappeared just because of this' I asked still holding him in my arms.
'Yeah' he softly replied.
'I so damn..' I stopped
'You so damn what?' He asked
'Nothing leave,don't spoil the moment' I whispered
'He knew what I was about to say.
But I thought I wasn't right to do. Even he knew it wasn't right. Afterall we weren't together now. We weren't meant to be together.
We drifted apart.
My mobile was being unattended since I saw vansh at my place.
Trrriiiinnggggg...
This time it hitted the drums of my ear.
'Pick up the call' vansh said
I rushed to my room,hit my bed. Got my phone in my hand just like a ninja.
'Hello' my voice hushed.
'Still getting fresh,lazy dumb ass'
It was karan
'No was with vansh' I replied back without thinking twice
'Okay. You carry on I'll catch you up later' there was disappointment in his voice and he disconnected.
I couldn't react further.
I instantly went to my call log,pressed the green button and the call was being connected to karan
'What's wrong' I banged direct on the point.
'Nothing DND' he said.
He was pissed off. I could sense it. I'm pretty smart,and when it comes to emotions you better not play hide and seek with me.
'Listen don't think I'm a kid,just say out clearly what's wrong' I showed my irritation
'Why don't you go and stay with vansh'
Now he was getting on my nerves.
'Fuck you! Why can't you just shut up and tell what you need' I bursted out
'Okay,I'll keep quite, but you know what I needed your help. That's why I'm trying to reach you from early morning. You are my only hope. You are the only girl whom I trust and turn on for a decision,but now you said me to fuck off na..I will'
He banged down the phone.
It was my mistake not his. I screwed it up. C'mon how can I react like this. I was cursing myself and tears started coming out.
Vansh patted on my back.
'Hey you okay' he said in a concerned manner
'No..I'm not' I said not looking up
'Karan was on the line naa?' he asked
I nodded
He got hold of my phone 'call him again' he said
'No' I answered in negative
'Cherry don't be so stubborn' he patted on my head
I dialed his number.the call got unaswered.again I called up. The result was same.
I tried it few more times and this time he received.
'You okay' I shorted my first question. I was worried.
'Yeah' he lied. His voice chocked.
'You aren't, don't lie to me'
'Yeah,I'm not it useless lying to you. I'm feeling low' he whispered
'I'm sorry' I said. I meant it.
'I know I over reacted but...'
I was stopped in the middle of my sentence.
'Don't be and yeah stop crying' he said
'I'm not crying' I lied
'Fooling yourself' he chuckled
'No fooling you moron'
He smiled even me.
'So what he'll you want sir. Anytime at your service' I wanted to change the topic desperately.
'I havnt bought a gift for anne so was planning to take you with me to get the gift'
'Yup sure,meet in an hour near my house,we'll go together okay' I said.
We both hung up. I was feeling better now.
Vansh smiled at me' go get ready' he said
'Why don't you join me' I said casually
'I can't see you with him and he can't see you with me' he winked
Oh..aao..okay I was awestruck.
I didn't take forward the conversation.
After one and half hour
I was as usual late. He was standing near my gate. I checked myself for the last time on the mirror and went downstairs.
'It cold outside,will be okay in your shorts' he said eyeing my shorts. No don't think he is a despo.he just cares for me.
'I'm okay with it' I said and held his hand
'So where are we going' I asked
'Anywhere' he answered like a innocent puppy
'Chal fir let's hit south city.hot guys,nice dresses,awesome ambiance,what say?' I was over excited.
We got into the car. Slided down and yeah I was comfortable.
15 mins baad My mobile beeped.
'Karan zara check whuz that' I said busy checking out the music system
'Have fun. Tc' he read out
'Whuz message' I questioned back
'VANSH' he said expressionless
'Oh holy crap! I said to myself.
He handed me the phone and started looking outside.
He wasn't too please to see the message.
Suddenly I felt like everything stopped or it was moving in a slow motion. Silence prevailed even the music was hurting my ears.
'You know cherry something is going wrong' he broke the ice
'What' I was shocked
'Vansh loves you a lot and I'm coming between you people. He Is a jerk but still you mean a lot to him'
Now this what I certainly didn't expect it from him.
I was thunderstuck.
I was hardly able to say anything.
'You are not coming between us,we are just friends' I stammered
'You still love him cherry'
There was innocence in his voice. His eyes was moist. His voice got chocked. Something was hurting him. I was doing something cruel to him.
I was blank out.
I didn't want to hear this.
Anne's birthday:
Last day was so damn confusing and disturbing.
But yeah fortunately I was able to pick the best dress for anne which karan was suppose to gift.
We didn't talk much. The ambience was formal. Just like the way we behaved wen we first met each other. Deep inside I felt like I was losing a close friend of my life,I was losing a part of me. Something terrible was going to happen. I couldn't just walk out from karan's life. I couldn't just walk out from vansh's life. Both means a lot to me. I just wanted it to END. END really fast.
6:00pm.
My house was in a party mood,smiling faces everywhere. But I was sad. Really sad. I wasn't feeling like to dress up. I switched off my room's light.plucked in my headphone and placed myself near the window. Lyrics started taking coverage on my mind. It was soothing. Tears started rolling down. I was broken. I was pissed off.
My mobile rang....
I disconnected it.I didn't even see who was that. It continued to ring. I picked it up.
Hello..you okay? You didn't receive my call from yesterday. Concerned voice from the other side.
'Yeah..'I sounded rude. Actually i didn't want to talk much
That's why you are sitting near the window. Yeah it was vansh.
'Not feeling like to dress up and leave me alone please' I disconnected the call.
it rang for another time. I didn't receive. He didn't call further.
8:00 pm
Guests started coming.it was time to cut the cake. It was my time to get ready. I pulled out the box from my drawer. Yeah,it was the same dress vansh gifted me last day. Kept the dress on the bed and moved on to wash room. I squeezed out the face gel. It was out of frustation. This situation was taking a toll on me.
I used to be happy-go-lucky-girl. But now what's wrong? I switched off my thoughts and splashed water on my face. It was a feeling of freshness. I turned on the shower and let myself get drowrn in that.
There was a certain kind off pressure that got released from my mind.
I entered my room. Pulled down the new dress. blow dry my hair,bruhed it. My eyelashes got covered with mascara. Blushed my cheek with the blusher. Kajal was on. I put my feet inside the Stilletoe. I'm done.
Yeah,none can say that I was crying 15 mins back. 'Perfect' I said to myself with a fake smile on my face. Got hold of my clutcher. And I was on.
Tik-tok-tik-tok
I heared somebody sayng from behind. I turned back. It was karan.
He was glued with a perfect smile. Which I was dyng to see from past two days.
'Looking..umm...you are looking way too gorgeous man.. I'm running short of words karan said.
'Thank you' I smiled. This time it was genuine. I felt good.
He came closer pulled me near him and we hugged.
'Love you' he whispered
He was pretty loud so I could hear it easily.
I didn't respond. I didn't want that smile to vanish. I just pulled myself more closer to him. Time ceased.
"not feeling like to leave me?"karan whispered
"cant you please shut for a second"?i whispered back
there was a sudden rush of hormones in my veins.i didnt want to let go that moment.
i opened my eyes,there were three pairs of eyes looking straight towards us. It didnt matter to me. i shrugged myself away from him. took a look of my dress,set my hair perfect,slid in my hand in karan's and moved on.
i stepped outside,my eyes were now searching for vansh. he is not "being-late" guy. he is always on time. but i couldnt see him anywhere.
"hello aunty" i greeted vansh's mother with a perfect smile
"hello beta", she imprinted a kiss on my forehead
"where is vansh?" i asked
"i dont know...your friend,you must be knowing", she chuckled
" umm..no..he called up..but.." i stopped,i didnt want to tell her the whole story.
"okay,i will just check out",i changed my words.
aunty passed me a smile,so did i..!!
"so still thinking about vansh??" karan asked with a smile on his face
"umm..not exactly but i cant see him anywhere,thats the thing"i said still searching
"okay"
he wasnt jealous,he wasnt expressionless,he wasnt sad,he was normal......
he was smiling just the way i wanted to see him..
9:30pm
"when you will be coming?"i texted vansh
5minutes later my mobile buzzed.
"yeah..i will be there in sometime :)..you enjoy!" he replied back
i was satisfied. i didnt reply back as i knew he would be coming
10:00pm
i and karan were still together. fooling around. it was fun being with him. yeah,i actually liked being with him.
it was time for some vodka shots.i,karan and mu cousins hit the bar and there we were.
i gulped down the shots,it burned my throats. karan sat in a corner watching me sipping his drink. slowly the shots started making effect on my mind,the vision got blurred. nah,i want that sloshed but yeah,something was making my mind set free.
i walked near the couch where karan was sitting. and sat beside him. we were close.. pretty close.. i could even smell him properly. i kept my head on his shoulder. we were getting cozy. he slid his arm by waist.
"you love vansh' he said
'and you love me' i said mainting an eye contact.
"but you ppl are meant to be together"
"he doesn't care for me see he didn't even care to turn up for the party"
i was sad. the absence of vansh made me feel sick.
" he does" karan said quietly
"i know..i'm just you know kind off lying to myself"
i don't know what i was mumbling. i didn't have a control on my words. it was just the alcohol which was acting.
we came too close to each other. not even an ant could have passed between us.
his lips touched mine. it was just a kiss. i was just the likeness which came out in that way.
no dont think it was love. i liked him too much and he loved me.
there was nothing wrong in it.
he moved his face away immediately and held my face in his palm.'go to vansh...he must be waiting somewhere'
i quickly freed my face from his hand and hugged him tightly.
'i told you i can't fall for you' i smiled and said
'i know...we'll always be best-est of friends and vansh will keep you happy' he chuckled
for the LAST time we glued our fingers together.
My hair was spilled. The kajal was all smudged. My stilettos were dangling from my fingers and We were walking down the road our fingers still glued. I was leaning on karan. Vansh was on my mind. One fact I couldn't intrude that why didn't he come for the party?
11:30 pm
It was time for karan to leave.
'Hey..I need to go now' karan mumbled
'Nooo..not nowww....' I said
I'm sure even he didn't want to leave that soon.
'Cherry its 11:30 now and it won't look good if we keep on loitering here and after all you are drunk,so you should go and sleep now' he shoted
'Do I look like I'm drunk' I shoted back.
'Umm..to be truthful hell yeah' he replied
'I don't care' I said with a smile pasted on my face.
'Cherry I'm serious u need to go back home now' there was a stern expression on his face.
I took a look of my watch, yeah he was right it too damn late.
'Hmm..okay' I let his hand go free
He came infront of me,just like he did 2 days back when I broke up with vansh.
Breeze started playing with my hair. He moved the strand of my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.
'Bye' he said
'Is your shoe from nike' I replied back
He was taken aback. He couldn't relate the two thing.
'Yeah..but..' He couldn't complete his words
'Doesn't matter' I said and I placed my feet on his and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back. It was the parting hug which we do basically but this time it was bit special.
12:00am
Karan left 15 mins back. I promised him to go back to my room but I didn't. I was standing right in front of vansh's building. I called him up. He didn't pick up. No he is not those types who doze off too early. My mobile buzzed. It was him.
'Care to come down' no pleasantries exchanged and I directly banged on the target .
'What' he was shocked into speech
'Can't you understand English' I was showing my disgust
'Wait..coming..coming..coming'
I saw him coming in his pull-over. His skin was the prove that it was winter. There was a tinge of pink shade in his cheek. He was over all a cutie-pie for me.
' What..the..you..here..its..lat
'Why didn't you come' I wanted the answer desperately
'Ummm..' He started looking for an answer
'Will you tell or not? Only a yes or no is needed' I was serious
'You are drunk aren't you?' He tried to change the topic
'Fuck you' I turned back and started taking steps slowly,actually I wasn't able to move faster because of the vodka effect.
'Cherry please' he grabbed my hand
'Will you please leave me alone' I said. I was pissed off.
'Listen to me once' his attempt was desperate
I didn't pay a heed and I continued walking and didn't even care to respond.
'Just because you were with karan that's why I didn't turn up, because seriously its not a nice site to see you ppl together,it actually hurts me' his voice was trembling.
'You could have told me this,I was waiting for you like an ass' I wanted him to know how I felt
' But you were with karan,isn't that enough' he asked
'You know you better bunk it' I chucked off the topic
He took some drastic steps held my arm forcefully,pulled me near him.
'I didn't want to let you down,but I really wanted you to spend time with karan so that u ppl fall in love' he said
'But I can't fall in love with anyone else' my eyes started getting heavy.
'Why?' He questioned back
'Because I m into you, I love you still now and I can't flush you out of my life,I can't see any bitch snatching you away from me' tears trickled down. I was about to break down.
'You are ruining your mascara baby..don't cry' he said wiping my tear. But now I really didn't care about my looks. I just wanted him.
'Do you care for my feelings? I mumbled
'Yes I do' I could feel his grip tightening by my waist. I wanted to get lost in his arms. I wanted him to cuddle me to sleep. I wanted him to love me just like before.
'Then Care to fall for me jerk' I questioned
'Hell yeah' there was a big smile on his face.
'Propose kar mujhe properly' I said as sweetly as I can
'What?' He broke into a laughter
'I'm not kidding propose me' I stood strong. As soon as this words escaped my lips. He kneeled down in front of me,took my hand pulled his face up. Looked at me and said
'Will you be mine forever?' He asked
'Yes' I blushed.
He stood up and gripped me in his arm. He was about to kiss me.
'Hold on shona' I shrugged myself
'Now what???' He frowned
'I kissed karan' I confessed
He was taken aback. He stood there silent. He re-connected his words and spoke
'That is out of liking baby,I understand, I know you love me and its just the alcohol which took the toll on you' as he said he started rubbing his finger on my lips as if he was trying to rub away the essence of karan's kiss. I can sense that he was feeling jealous but he didn't show it openly.
Before I could say anything he kissed me on my lips. He was going wild. As if he wanted to punish me for kissing karan. But no, I was wrong. It was all his suppressed love for me,the two day's frustration, the two days jealousy when he saw me with karan all came out through his kiss. slowly he slowed down. He started caressing my lips with his.
'I love you' I wishpered
'I love you too' he wishpered back.
We smiled.
We were in love all over again!♥
So,this is the end of FEELINGS!♥
Cherry♥
'Hey,I broke you with my boyfriend' I wrote
' You were committed? with whom..I neva knew' he wrote
'You neva knew coz I neva said..n damn it first time its hurting me..'
'Its hurting you,whu was that wid whom you were committed?' He wrote
'Vansh' I typed
'Oh that jerk'
'C'mon dun call him a jerk..n stupo I'm feeling low and you are suppose to make me feel gud'
I calmly typed this.
'Chatterbox agar me udhar hota na..I wud have have made you wash your face n wud have hugged you tightly'
'Yeah, I need a hug desperately yaar..u dun know how I'm feeling..I only dumped him and its just like my another break up but still I'm feeling bad..not done'
I wrote
'Meet me..I'm coming near spencer'.
I didn't get time to tell him anything. And he appeared 'OFFLINE'
I was not in a mood to get ready. I pulled my shorts up. Tied my hair.
Left my house.I saw him coming.
'So?you better now?' He asked
'Hmm..don't know' I answered looking down.
We didn't speak for 5 mins and continued walking.
Suddenly he came infront of me.pulled me close.held my face in his palm. And said
C'mon cherry you don't look gud like this. You are a pretty girl.he is a loser. Why are you affecting youself coz of him? Why? Why don't you get the thing that there are guys around who actually die to get you.
He was staring right into my eyes.I could hardly say anything. I was just mumbling.
'Karan,who dies for me?
'Umm..umm..'He stammered.
'I know I'm not those perfect girlfriend types. I suck as a girlfriend. I'm not dat girl friend material yaar' I freed myself from this grip and litterly shouted on him.
'Tell me..will you ever fall in a love wid a girl like me. Just having a pretty face doesnt work evrytime. I know I'm pretty but I want a guy who can make me feel beautiful' I continued saying.
He didn't speak a word. He was just staring at me. Staring quite hard. There was something different in his stare. It wasn't the usual one.his eyes were twinkling.
'Will you please calm down?' He pleaded.
I regained my sense, and looked by my side and saw a lady staring at me.
'Am I looking so gud that you need to stare at me' I sternly questioned that lady.
She passed an irritating look.
And I gave her a' I don't give a damn look'( yeah, I'm good in it..when I'm pissed off.you better be sweet to me)
Dats cherry's rule.
Cherry look at me, you know if I like you also I can't get you.
As soon as he said this words,vansh suddenly got flushed out from my mind.
It was a strange feeling,yeah, it was. Its was something I never felt.it was magical. It was something unexpected.
Tringg..tring..tring..
'Cherry your mobile is buzzing'
Haan..wat...phone..whose..shit
' Yeah,mom,I'm with karan..I'll be back home by 8'
I didn't evn give mom a chance to speak.I rushed through wateva I had say.
'Beta its okay..actually vansh is here waiting for you so come back home..' Mom said from the other end
Haan? Wat? Vansh? For what? He is there?he came to meet me I was stammering
'Yeah now come and even call karan' mom didn't give me time to speak and she hung up
'Vansh is at my place he wants to meet me..'I said
'So???'
There was big question mark on karan's face.
Mom called you,so you are coming wid me..I was about to hold his hand wen he suddenly said 'NO'
I was shocked.coz never ever he said no to me.
'Wat no???' I questioned him directly.
You will be with your prince charming and what do you expect me to do? Have nuts.
His temper was going up.I could see that in his eyes.
'I don't know anuthing you are coming.I litterly dragged him. Obviously it wasn't easy. His strength is superior to me.
I called for a rickshaw. We both sat n left for our house.
15mins later,
We reached home. I saw vansh sitting on our couch.he was looking different. His face was pale. He didn't look the same.
Suddenly his eyes twinkled as soon as he saw me.
Karan and me took our place. Mom left for making some snacks.
We 3 were left out.
'Hey can v tok' vansh said
' There is nothing to talk about vansh.its over.we broke up'
I said looking straight into his eyes.
Baby why don't you understand I need you..I seriously need you..he grabbed my hand.
Karan got his eyes fixed on me. Some struck him wrong.
'Vansh, don't behave like a kid. Grow up.you flirted with that chick you got caught and I dumpd you its as simple as that. Den y so much of drama? I said irritatedly
' its not drama baby.'
Don't you dare call me baby now' I instantly reply.
From the corner of my eyes I saw karan.he was feeling uncomfortable. He wasn't liking wat was going on. He prented as if he dsnt care. But what I mean to him nobody knows that better than me. It was hurting him.
He was now looking down. He couldn't see me with anyone else.
I continued watching karan.I was feeling drawn towards him. No I wasn't in love. Its just that I can't see him like this. Afterall we promised each other that we'll be each other's guide forever. He will share wateva happens with him and I'll share whateva happens wid me.
But I broke this. I kept it as a secret from him that I was committed?
What made me take that step?
What can be the reason?
Yeah,at one point of time It did stuck my brain that whateva I'm
Doing is wrong,
was I afraid to lose him?
And by the way hold on!
Why am I thinkng like this now also? Why should I lose him? Afterall we are truefriends.
No,love can't come between us. I was determined.It spoiles every relationship.and I wasn't that strong to lose this relationship.
I can screw up relationships easily,I know. But I knew this also if I screw this up then I need pay for it through out my life.
I didn't even realise wen vansh freed my hand. And he touched me I didn't evn feel the same way I used to. It wasn't the same any more.
Vansh's touch didn't make a difference to me.no magical feelings?
Karan's eyes got moist. He could have an eye contact with me. His fingers were turned into a fist now.
Some wrong was going on.something which is terribly wrong.
Vansh was still talking to me. But his words just above my head.it wasn't going inside. All I was engrossed in was 'KARAN'
Never ever in my life I have seen his eyes moist.
Its hurting me(it shouldn't,c'mon a guy with whom I fight all day long cannot make me feel for him so much)
Vansh,can you give me some time? My mind is really messed up. I don't know what I'm upto. I don't know what I want. I don't know if you are still important to me or not. I don't know anything.
I literaly pleaded him.
I guess he understood my situation.
Yeah, at times I'm too difficult to handel.
He left two of us alone and walked out.
Now, I was feeling sorry for vansh?
Did I say anything wrong? Did I over reacted? Have I done something which I shouldn't have?
What's wrong with me?
What's going on?
What am I upto?
God! Help me..
I really wanted to shout my heart out.my feeings were pinching me down my skin.
And trust me I wasn't liking what was going on.
My mind was bursting out of thoughts.
My heart was full of question
I sat down on the couch,karan was by my side.thousands of thought were running across my mind.
My heart was jammed with feelings.
I put my hand across has karan's shoulder. He didn't respond.
'Won't you talk to me?' I asked
He remained quite.
'Really you won't tok to me?' I asked again.
Still he remained quite.now it was me who was feeling uneasy.
'Sacchi..tu baat nehi karega?'
I started weeping now.
'He gave a look to me and again started looking down.
I kneeled down infront of him. Took his palm in mine and made him look at me.
He tried hard not to look at me but this time I was stubborn.I didn't allow him to look at anything other than me.
'If you don't talk to me then I'm not gonna move from here' I tried to be straight forward but as I was weeping it was sounding stupid.
'He was still quite.
I pulled his cheek, what I love to do and he finally responded.
'Don't cry,I don't like when you drop tears ' he sounded extremly cute.
As he said this he pulled me closer to him and hugged me. This time I completely broke down.I was crying .
Something which was pinching me from last few hours came out finally.
No this wasn't our first hug,but it was something different.
May be because I needed this hug at this moment or may I needed this hug from this specific guy only (nobody else).
We finally got apart.
There were cute moments of silence. He made me sit beside him again.
'Can I confess something' he said
'Yup..go ahead' I didn't speak much.
'You seriously look the cutest when you cry'
The moment he said this I started blushing.
I found a sudden closeness between us.
Did he find the same? Or it was me who was feeling like this? Why does vansh always get flush out wen I spend some moments with karan?
The last hug was special for me but for him?
Hid he find the silence cute as I found?
I was full of questions. But I couldn't allow myself to ask him all this questions.
May be I was afraid of the answers.
Or,
May be I was afraid of rejection.
Yeah,negetive thoughts are the main thing which covers my mind.
It was late and it was time for karan to leave.
We two left the house in unison.it was cold outside. Perfect cuddling weather.as we were walking he held my fingers.I blushed.
I too held his finger.
He looked at me and I passed a smile.finaly we came near spencer and it was his time to go.
'I'm not feeling like to let you go'
He said
'You are mad..you know you shud maintain distance from me' I winked
Why? He was confused
'You will fall for me if you come too close'I mocked
'I don't mind falling in love with you'
C'mon now this is something I never expected from him.
Okay! Enuf of jokes! I tried to change the topic.
'Friday is anne's birthday and you are coming'
'this is the way you invite' he asked
'Listn I dun knw how to invite..I'm tlng you to come and you can't say me no..got it? Ab chup chap aa jana..I'm going now..bye..
I emphasized on the last words,
'I'll see' with a blank expressn on his face
'No seeing..you come or I won't tok' I threated him
I love doing it actually :p
'Okay my cherry my baby'
Baby..omg! C'om hold on..no way..no baby please..chepo lagta hain..n kyun baby?I told u na to maintain distance' I said my point
Don't act in such a way as if you don't know what's going on between us'
What? What's going on? I pretented as if I dun knw nethng.
'Leave..you better go home now'
'Yeah..I'm leaving..bye'
'R'nt you forgetting something?? He asked
'No I'm not..why? What happened?
(Actually I knew what he was toking about but I ignored it)
R'nt we suppose to hug??
We used to hug earlier olso while sayng bye. But what happened now? Why I need to think before hugging him?
'Oh..yup..'
I hugged him..a calm feeling prevailed...it was quite a tight hug.
I didn't look at him ne more..
Bye' he said
I said him bye and rushed from the place.
My mobile buzzed
'It was certainly not a good site to see you with that jerk,but still the walk with you was awsome.
Love you( as a friend)'
He texted
Now those last three words hitted me.
As a friend? What? Did I see it right?I checked the message again.
Yup he wrote that only.
Its friendship or may be I was thinking something more than that?
I was wrong?
I can't fall for him. He fall for me. It was clear between us. Then why am I feeling bad by those words?
He didn't feel bad while texting?
What's going on?
The clock striked 2:00.
I couldn't sleep. Was on my bed just turning from left to right.I was confused. I don't know what to do next. I was disturbed may be coz of vansh's last word or karan's last message. I was deep in my thoughts when My mobile buzzed.
I expected a text from karan.
No it wasn't him it was vansh.
'Princess you are still on right? Can't sleep? Confused between me and karan r8?'
I read the message.
My mind went blank in a second. I thought to ignore the text but couldn't,afterall he spoke up the truth.
'Hmm..r8..something I disturbing me..I can't sleep..I'm so damn confused..' I wrote
'Don't be so confused..it doesnt suits you. You don't look good in that expression' he texted back.
'Here I'm in a dilemma and you are talking about how I look?
'Care to come near your window' he wrote
Naaay..not in a mood..
(Actually vansh stays opposite to my flat. So we can ddirectly see each other from our window'
'You don't wanna come just because you. Think you are looking like a mess right??
'No its not that..ruko..I'm coming'
He was near his window and I was near mine. He called up.
'You know why I called u here near the window? He said
I was blank I didn't have any idea I asked 'why?'
'Coz I wanted to see you in your shorts,loose t-shirt and messy hair one last time at night before you get committed to somebody'
Somebody?whom are you talking about? I'm not getting committed to anybody?I'm going.
No..no..no don't move from that place..baby to be truthfull you also know you love karan,my part is over. And you don't wanna accept the fact that you love karan juz coz you are too damn egoistic.
I kept quite.
He continued' nobody can reject you cherry not even karan so why don't juz take a chance and tell it to him.you must be thinkng that I will feel bad. Cherry I swear I won't. I loved you.I love you,I'll love you foreva. You are the best part of my life. But I never valued you when you were with me and I regret that.
'But It hurted me' my voice started chocking
'I know it did that's why I want to see you happy now. You know u fell for this guy long back but you couldn't understand and you didn't want to cheat me.
'But how come you are so sure that even he loves me' it was me who was speaking now.
' I'm a guy I can understand what's going on in a guys mind, I can bet that he didn't like it wen I held your hand infront of him. He felt jealous wen I said I love you. He was feeling low when I pulled you close'
I was hardly able to answer. I looked up and saw he was still looking at me.
'So what am I suppose to do now' I turned for his opinion.
'Propose him if he dsnt' his voice changed.
' will you be happy if I do this' as I asked him this on the phone and he turned his back towards me.
He didn't respond.
'Look at me..you okay' he still didn't respond but he didn't evn move from there or hung up.
We didn't speak for minutes. Finally he turned.
Yeah he was cryng, for the first time in 2 years I saw him cryng.
I was feeling guilty. I didn't mean to hurt him but I actually hurted him.
'Dun cry' I whispered
'Hmm..I need to hung up now and yeah Go for him cherry'
I didn't respond.he waited for my response.I still didn't say anything.
'Will you please look up and give me your dimple smile' he asked
'I'm suppose to say this jerk' I smiled even he did.
'Love you' he said
'I know'
We hung up.
So even from vansh I got a green signal. But again the same question arises du karan feels the same for me?
Last night was kinda dramatic for me.
After talking to vansh I felt bit relived and my brain nerves could finally relax.
12:00pm
I was still on my bed couldn't wake up actually no wasn't feeling like to pull my body up.
I searched for my mobile with my eyes closed,finally got hold of that.
I typed the password with my eyes half opened.
16 miss calls,10 messages all from karan.
For the first time after my breakup I wished to see a text from vansh but there was none.
I was about to check my inbox when my mobile buzzed. Yeah, as expected it was karan calling.
'Where the hell are you' his furious tone
'Jerk talk softly,I'm still on my bed sleeping' I said in my sleepy voice.
'Why do you sleep so much man' he was getting irritated
'Uuhh...you are suppose to wish me good morning instead of shouting' I continued in my sleepy laid back tone.
'I was too damn worried. You didn't reply since last night,tension hota hain yaar' his volume was going low
'I understand,now dat u woke me up only lemme get fresh then texting you okay?' I was back to normalcy.
Wakee up cherryyyyyyyyy....
It was my mom. My alarm clock and trust me I hate the tone atleast in the morning.
Yeah,yeah I'm up. I checked out myself. Still messy like last night.
Don't know why when I use this word 'MESSY' somewhere or the other vansh's memories hit my brains. I tried to dismiss my thoughts.
While I was brushing my teeth I went downstairs,and guess what?
It was him. It was Vansh sitting on my favorite couch.
'So madam you are on good afternoon' finally somebody wished me
'Its morning moron..not afternoon' I said still hell lots of paste inside my mouth
'girl can't you see its 12:20 now' he said
It was strange for me to see him in normalcy, last night he was such a different person.
'Listen I woke up now means its morning for me and you can't
Say Anything wase sone diya kaha tune mujhe raat ko' I winked
'Okay bab..' He was about to utter the word baby but he didn't. I tried not to continue the same topic with awkward silence so again went upstairs.
I tried to get fresh as soon as possible I didn't want him to wait for me. I felt a sudden urge to see him,due to some unknwn reasons.
I was brushing my hair when he entered the room.
'I love your hair' he smiled and sat beside me.
you know you told this a million times before. I said
'I know but I just want to make sure that you think I really mean it'
'You don't have to prove it, I know you meant it evertime you said this'
He didn't reply. Silence prevailed. This is the thing which I hate the most.c'mon speak up I can't take all this silent treatments.
'So what are you wearing for anne's b'day' he changed the topic and he is good in it.
'Shitt..I don't have anything to wear..' I cried suddenly I was back to reality and getting a dress for the party is my main priority now.
'Chill..you look good in whatever you Wear so it doesn't matter. You got thousands of dress choose one' he said calmly
'Noo..you don't understand' I was sad
'I really don't ?' He asked
'Haan? What?' I couldn't relate what he was talking about.
'No I didn't mean dat' I was falling short of words
'Ssh..stay quite..lagta hain yaar tera voice kaan mein' he mocked me
'Hell..get lost..I'm not gonna talk to you' I turned my back towards him.
He didn't reply. Suddenly there was a silence.I expected him to tell sorry but he didn't. I felt odd. I turned back I saw nobody. He wasn't there. I was like dazzed. He was gone.
I recapitulated what I said. There was nothing offensive. He is used to this. He knows how I talk but what happened suddenly??
My mind got jammed with thoughts.
I was lost somwhere.
'cherry..come here' it was vansh
'I rushed from my place' I wanted to know eagerly what was happening,he was panting and there was box in his hand.
You okay? With a concerned look on my face
'Yeah..open this' he forwarded me the box.
First you have some water I passed him the bottel' I didn't smile.
'First you open it' he ordered
'First you have water' I said still concerned about him
'No' he said
'Vansh' I couldn't complete calling his name he said 'okay baba having'
He gulped down the water. Now I was satisfied.
I was feeling strange that 15 mins back didn't have a dress for the party was my priority my tension but suddenly couldn't find vansh by side stirred my nerves.
'Happy' he asked
'Yeah' I replied with a blank expression
'Now will you care to open the box' he pleaded
'Yeah,okay' I started taking out the wrapper.
'Omg!' I couldn't react anything better than this. I was shocked into speech.
It was the same black dress from forever new which I wanted to buy last week
I was super happy.
'This is for me' I asked showing my 32 teeths with a bid smile
'No my future gf' he winked
'Shuttt up' instantly replied
This is so beautiful,thank you soo much. I kept the dress aside and hugged him. He hugged me back.
'you suddenly disappeared just because of this' I asked still holding him in my arms.
'Yeah' he softly replied.
'I so damn..' I stopped
'You so damn what?' He asked
'Nothing leave,don't spoil the moment' I whispered
'He knew what I was about to say.
But I thought I wasn't right to do. Even he knew it wasn't right. Afterall we weren't together now. We weren't meant to be together.
We drifted apart.
My mobile was being unattended since I saw vansh at my place.
Trrriiiinnggggg...
This time it hitted the drums of my ear.
'Pick up the call' vansh said
I rushed to my room,hit my bed. Got my phone in my hand just like a ninja.
'Hello' my voice hushed.
'Still getting fresh,lazy dumb ass'
It was karan
'No was with vansh' I replied back without thinking twice
'Okay. You carry on I'll catch you up later' there was disappointment in his voice and he disconnected.
I couldn't react further.
I instantly went to my call log,pressed the green button and the call was being connected to karan
'What's wrong' I banged direct on the point.
'Nothing DND' he said.
He was pissed off. I could sense it. I'm pretty smart,and when it comes to emotions you better not play hide and seek with me.
'Listen don't think I'm a kid,just say out clearly what's wrong' I showed my irritation
'Why don't you go and stay with vansh'
Now he was getting on my nerves.
'Fuck you! Why can't you just shut up and tell what you need' I bursted out
'Okay,I'll keep quite, but you know what I needed your help. That's why I'm trying to reach you from early morning. You are my only hope. You are the only girl whom I trust and turn on for a decision,but now you said me to fuck off na..I will'
He banged down the phone.
It was my mistake not his. I screwed it up. C'mon how can I react like this. I was cursing myself and tears started coming out.
Vansh patted on my back.
'Hey you okay' he said in a concerned manner
'No..I'm not' I said not looking up
'Karan was on the line naa?' he asked
I nodded
He got hold of my phone 'call him again' he said
'No' I answered in negative
'Cherry don't be so stubborn' he patted on my head
I dialed his number.the call got unaswered.again I called up. The result was same.
I tried it few more times and this time he received.
'You okay' I shorted my first question. I was worried.
'Yeah' he lied. His voice chocked.
'You aren't, don't lie to me'
'Yeah,I'm not it useless lying to you. I'm feeling low' he whispered
'I'm sorry' I said. I meant it.
'I know I over reacted but...'
I was stopped in the middle of my sentence.
'Don't be and yeah stop crying' he said
'I'm not crying' I lied
'Fooling yourself' he chuckled
'No fooling you moron'
He smiled even me.
'So what he'll you want sir. Anytime at your service' I wanted to change the topic desperately.
'I havnt bought a gift for anne so was planning to take you with me to get the gift'
'Yup sure,meet in an hour near my house,we'll go together okay' I said.
We both hung up. I was feeling better now.
Vansh smiled at me' go get ready' he said
'Why don't you join me' I said casually
'I can't see you with him and he can't see you with me' he winked
Oh..aao..okay I was awestruck.
I didn't take forward the conversation.
After one and half hour
I was as usual late. He was standing near my gate. I checked myself for the last time on the mirror and went downstairs.
'It cold outside,will be okay in your shorts' he said eyeing my shorts. No don't think he is a despo.he just cares for me.
'I'm okay with it' I said and held his hand
'So where are we going' I asked
'Anywhere' he answered like a innocent puppy
'Chal fir let's hit south city.hot guys,nice dresses,awesome ambiance,what say?' I was over excited.
We got into the car. Slided down and yeah I was comfortable.
15 mins baad My mobile beeped.
'Karan zara check whuz that' I said busy checking out the music system
'Have fun. Tc' he read out
'Whuz message' I questioned back
'VANSH' he said expressionless
'Oh holy crap! I said to myself.
He handed me the phone and started looking outside.
He wasn't too please to see the message.
Suddenly I felt like everything stopped or it was moving in a slow motion. Silence prevailed even the music was hurting my ears.
'You know cherry something is going wrong' he broke the ice
'What' I was shocked
'Vansh loves you a lot and I'm coming between you people. He Is a jerk but still you mean a lot to him'
Now this what I certainly didn't expect it from him.
I was thunderstuck.
I was hardly able to say anything.
'You are not coming between us,we are just friends' I stammered
'You still love him cherry'
There was innocence in his voice. His eyes was moist. His voice got chocked. Something was hurting him. I was doing something cruel to him.
I was blank out.
I didn't want to hear this.
Anne's birthday:
Last day was so damn confusing and disturbing.
But yeah fortunately I was able to pick the best dress for anne which karan was suppose to gift.
We didn't talk much. The ambience was formal. Just like the way we behaved wen we first met each other. Deep inside I felt like I was losing a close friend of my life,I was losing a part of me. Something terrible was going to happen. I couldn't just walk out from karan's life. I couldn't just walk out from vansh's life. Both means a lot to me. I just wanted it to END. END really fast.
6:00pm.
My house was in a party mood,smiling faces everywhere. But I was sad. Really sad. I wasn't feeling like to dress up. I switched off my room's light.plucked in my headphone and placed myself near the window. Lyrics started taking coverage on my mind. It was soothing. Tears started rolling down. I was broken. I was pissed off.
My mobile rang....
I disconnected it.I didn't even see who was that. It continued to ring. I picked it up.
Hello..you okay? You didn't receive my call from yesterday. Concerned voice from the other side.
'Yeah..'I sounded rude. Actually i didn't want to talk much
That's why you are sitting near the window. Yeah it was vansh.
'Not feeling like to dress up and leave me alone please' I disconnected the call.
it rang for another time. I didn't receive. He didn't call further.
8:00 pm
Guests started coming.it was time to cut the cake. It was my time to get ready. I pulled out the box from my drawer. Yeah,it was the same dress vansh gifted me last day. Kept the dress on the bed and moved on to wash room. I squeezed out the face gel. It was out of frustation. This situation was taking a toll on me.
I used to be happy-go-lucky-girl. But now what's wrong? I switched off my thoughts and splashed water on my face. It was a feeling of freshness. I turned on the shower and let myself get drowrn in that.
There was a certain kind off pressure that got released from my mind.
I entered my room. Pulled down the new dress. blow dry my hair,bruhed it. My eyelashes got covered with mascara. Blushed my cheek with the blusher. Kajal was on. I put my feet inside the Stilletoe. I'm done.
Yeah,none can say that I was crying 15 mins back. 'Perfect' I said to myself with a fake smile on my face. Got hold of my clutcher. And I was on.
Tik-tok-tik-tok
I heared somebody sayng from behind. I turned back. It was karan.
He was glued with a perfect smile. Which I was dyng to see from past two days.
'Looking..umm...you are looking way too gorgeous man.. I'm running short of words karan said.
'Thank you' I smiled. This time it was genuine. I felt good.
He came closer pulled me near him and we hugged.
'Love you' he whispered
He was pretty loud so I could hear it easily.
I didn't respond. I didn't want that smile to vanish. I just pulled myself more closer to him. Time ceased.
"not feeling like to leave me?"karan whispered
"cant you please shut for a second"?i whispered back
there was a sudden rush of hormones in my veins.i didnt want to let go that moment.
i opened my eyes,there were three pairs of eyes looking straight towards us. It didnt matter to me. i shrugged myself away from him. took a look of my dress,set my hair perfect,slid in my hand in karan's and moved on.
i stepped outside,my eyes were now searching for vansh. he is not "being-late" guy. he is always on time. but i couldnt see him anywhere.
"hello aunty" i greeted vansh's mother with a perfect smile
"hello beta", she imprinted a kiss on my forehead
"where is vansh?" i asked
"i dont know...your friend,you must be knowing", she chuckled
" umm..no..he called up..but.." i stopped,i didnt want to tell her the whole story.
"okay,i will just check out",i changed my words.
aunty passed me a smile,so did i..!!
"so still thinking about vansh??" karan asked with a smile on his face
"umm..not exactly but i cant see him anywhere,thats the thing"i said still searching
"okay"
he wasnt jealous,he wasnt expressionless,he wasnt sad,he was normal......
he was smiling just the way i wanted to see him..
9:30pm
"when you will be coming?"i texted vansh
5minutes later my mobile buzzed.
"yeah..i will be there in sometime :)..you enjoy!" he replied back
i was satisfied. i didnt reply back as i knew he would be coming
10:00pm
i and karan were still together. fooling around. it was fun being with him. yeah,i actually liked being with him.
it was time for some vodka shots.i,karan and mu cousins hit the bar and there we were.
i gulped down the shots,it burned my throats. karan sat in a corner watching me sipping his drink. slowly the shots started making effect on my mind,the vision got blurred. nah,i want that sloshed but yeah,something was making my mind set free.
i walked near the couch where karan was sitting. and sat beside him. we were close.. pretty close.. i could even smell him properly. i kept my head on his shoulder. we were getting cozy. he slid his arm by waist.
"you love vansh' he said
'and you love me' i said mainting an eye contact.
"but you ppl are meant to be together"
"he doesn't care for me see he didn't even care to turn up for the party"
i was sad. the absence of vansh made me feel sick.
" he does" karan said quietly
"i know..i'm just you know kind off lying to myself"
i don't know what i was mumbling. i didn't have a control on my words. it was just the alcohol which was acting.
we came too close to each other. not even an ant could have passed between us.
his lips touched mine. it was just a kiss. i was just the likeness which came out in that way.
no dont think it was love. i liked him too much and he loved me.
there was nothing wrong in it.
he moved his face away immediately and held my face in his palm.'go to vansh...he must be waiting somewhere'
i quickly freed my face from his hand and hugged him tightly.
'i told you i can't fall for you' i smiled and said
'i know...we'll always be best-est of friends and vansh will keep you happy' he chuckled
for the LAST time we glued our fingers together.
My hair was spilled. The kajal was all smudged. My stilettos were dangling from my fingers and We were walking down the road our fingers still glued. I was leaning on karan. Vansh was on my mind. One fact I couldn't intrude that why didn't he come for the party?
11:30 pm
It was time for karan to leave.
'Hey..I need to go now' karan mumbled
'Nooo..not nowww....' I said
I'm sure even he didn't want to leave that soon.
'Cherry its 11:30 now and it won't look good if we keep on loitering here and after all you are drunk,so you should go and sleep now' he shoted
'Do I look like I'm drunk' I shoted back.
'Umm..to be truthful hell yeah' he replied
'I don't care' I said with a smile pasted on my face.
'Cherry I'm serious u need to go back home now' there was a stern expression on his face.
I took a look of my watch, yeah he was right it too damn late.
'Hmm..okay' I let his hand go free
He came infront of me,just like he did 2 days back when I broke up with vansh.
Breeze started playing with my hair. He moved the strand of my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.
'Bye' he said
'Is your shoe from nike' I replied back
He was taken aback. He couldn't relate the two thing.
'Yeah..but..' He couldn't complete his words
'Doesn't matter' I said and I placed my feet on his and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back. It was the parting hug which we do basically but this time it was bit special.
12:00am
Karan left 15 mins back. I promised him to go back to my room but I didn't. I was standing right in front of vansh's building. I called him up. He didn't pick up. No he is not those types who doze off too early. My mobile buzzed. It was him.
'Care to come down' no pleasantries exchanged and I directly banged on the target .
'What' he was shocked into speech
'Can't you understand English' I was showing my disgust
'Wait..coming..coming..coming'
I saw him coming in his pull-over. His skin was the prove that it was winter. There was a tinge of pink shade in his cheek. He was over all a cutie-pie for me.
' What..the..you..here..its..lat
'Why didn't you come' I wanted the answer desperately
'Ummm..' He started looking for an answer
'Will you tell or not? Only a yes or no is needed' I was serious
'You are drunk aren't you?' He tried to change the topic
'Fuck you' I turned back and started taking steps slowly,actually I wasn't able to move faster because of the vodka effect.
'Cherry please' he grabbed my hand
'Will you please leave me alone' I said. I was pissed off.
'Listen to me once' his attempt was desperate
I didn't pay a heed and I continued walking and didn't even care to respond.
'Just because you were with karan that's why I didn't turn up, because seriously its not a nice site to see you ppl together,it actually hurts me' his voice was trembling.
'You could have told me this,I was waiting for you like an ass' I wanted him to know how I felt
' But you were with karan,isn't that enough' he asked
'You know you better bunk it' I chucked off the topic
He took some drastic steps held my arm forcefully,pulled me near him.
'I didn't want to let you down,but I really wanted you to spend time with karan so that u ppl fall in love' he said
'But I can't fall in love with anyone else' my eyes started getting heavy.
'Why?' He questioned back
'Because I m into you, I love you still now and I can't flush you out of my life,I can't see any bitch snatching you away from me' tears trickled down. I was about to break down.
'You are ruining your mascara baby..don't cry' he said wiping my tear. But now I really didn't care about my looks. I just wanted him.
'Do you care for my feelings? I mumbled
'Yes I do' I could feel his grip tightening by my waist. I wanted to get lost in his arms. I wanted him to cuddle me to sleep. I wanted him to love me just like before.
'Then Care to fall for me jerk' I questioned
'Hell yeah' there was a big smile on his face.
'Propose kar mujhe properly' I said as sweetly as I can
'What?' He broke into a laughter
'I'm not kidding propose me' I stood strong. As soon as this words escaped my lips. He kneeled down in front of me,took my hand pulled his face up. Looked at me and said
'Will you be mine forever?' He asked
'Yes' I blushed.
He stood up and gripped me in his arm. He was about to kiss me.
'Hold on shona' I shrugged myself
'Now what???' He frowned
'I kissed karan' I confessed
He was taken aback. He stood there silent. He re-connected his words and spoke
'That is out of liking baby,I understand, I know you love me and its just the alcohol which took the toll on you' as he said he started rubbing his finger on my lips as if he was trying to rub away the essence of karan's kiss. I can sense that he was feeling jealous but he didn't show it openly.
Before I could say anything he kissed me on my lips. He was going wild. As if he wanted to punish me for kissing karan. But no, I was wrong. It was all his suppressed love for me,the two day's frustration, the two days jealousy when he saw me with karan all came out through his kiss. slowly he slowed down. He started caressing my lips with his.
'I love you' I wishpered
'I love you too' he wishpered back.
We smiled.
We were in love all over again!♥
So,this is the end of FEELINGS!♥
Cherry♥
No comments:
Post a Comment